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$57 Lunch | MPGIS S1 | Episode 5

$57 Lunch | MPGIS S1 | Episode 5


Ah oui, I will take a toasted baguette with
a selection of foie grais and a Perrier please. Saison Margeurite, I am going to reiterate
a point that I make to you at least twice a week. All that we have is what is on the
chalkboard behind me. Ah yes of course. In that case I will have
a glass of, how do you say, bordeaux and a crepe. I have French fries. Yes, I suppose that will suffice yet again. A fantastic choice…Next. Hi Lunch Lady Belinda. Hello New Girl, how’s your first week at Overland
Park? It’s fine, I guess. Can I get a hot dog? Anything else? Um, let me get some tater tots. Oh, and also
a slice of pepperoni pizza. And also a basket of jalapeno poppers. And some chicken nuggets.
A ketchup boat. Three potato pancakes. A creamsicle. Two quesadillas. A bread loaf. Side of ranch.
Some pixy stix. Taco salad. Order of ribs. Aaaaaand…a diet coke. No. A strawberry shake.
No. Diet Coke. No. Both. That is gonna be one huge shit. Let me ring
you up- Hi Deandra. Hi Shay Van Buren. This is my sister Cameron. Hey. Hey. I like your top. Forever 21. Shut up. True story. Oh, oh oh, hey Cameron. Hey Lunch Lady Belinda, still giving people
diarrhea for a living? Good job. Oh, Cammy. Um, new girl, you haven’t paid
yet. Oh don’t worry we’ll take care of it. Ok, that’ll be $57.28. What the fuck! Holy shit! Don’t worry, I’ve got this. What the fuck was that? It was me, Mikayla Van Buren. Jesus Christ, is that a fucking Gremlin? No. I’m a third grader. Whatever, just no one feed that fucking thing
after midnight. Mikayla, Dad gave you that card for emergencies
only. Yeah, like buying cute underwear and paying
for premium memberships to perezhilton.com Well this is an emergency! We’re at war with
the cheer squad and we need allies! Correction! Shay and I are at war with the
cheer squad. You got sent home from school for infecting the entire third grade with
lice. That’s not true. Oh really, because your teacher told me your
head looks like the inside of a salt shaker. Please don’t tell mom! She’s gonna shave my
head like she did to Shay when she got lice in the third grade! I told you never to talk about that! God! Um excuse me, I will cut a bitch if there
is lice somewhere in my chili. Belinda. We’re kind of in the middle of something
right now, so if you could, you know, not. Oh, of course, Cameron. My apologies. Tee hee, the lice are tickling my hair! Hey, what’s with the hold up in the front? Shut the fuck up Jonathan Getslinhaumer! Hey, that’s not my name! Kill yourself. Is this gonna go on much longer? Because I
have a basket of jalapeno poppers that are getting cold. Um, Deandra, as you may know, The Van Burens
have been engaged in a blood feud with those DNA guzzling cheerleaders for years now. We
would like to formally invite you… I’m in. What? But you didn’t even get to hear our
pitch yet. Did your pitch involve you buying me a fifty-seven
dollar lunch? Yeah. Then I’m in. Great, okay, we’ll make you an admin on our
Facebook page, include you on the Google docs and start cc’ing you on all emails. Ooh, Cameron, Cameron, cc me too at [email protected] You are totes creep. Wait did someone say “crepe?” Au revoir. Can I go eat now? I’m pretty sure this potato
pancake is ruined, this ketchup boat is all watery, and my creamsicles are melt- there
is nobody here…where the fuck, god damn it. Next! Um, yeah, hi, um, I was- I was wondering what
kind of gluten free options you are offering today on the menu? Your attention please, the pep rally for the
football team will begin in the gym in three minutes. Oh no, not again. State! State! State! State! State! State!
Yeah! Wooo! Ouch.

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